Friday, June 9, 2017

Throwing out?!?!

Hello everyone,
Thought I'd give a new update on my 'moving on' post. My life is actually quite boring lol. 

My parents got a house in town, which It as a legal basement suit. They asked me if I wanted to move in. To which I did. I love my brother, sister inlaw and my nephew to death but I need my own space. On that note, I was able to move my stuff in and actually have access to some of the things. Pictures and cards that I actually packed. I threw them out. I don't want to be reminded of some of the good times we had. As it also brings the negativity with it. I've also been thinking about going through my items She gave me and slowly weed out those things. Again just a small reminders. 

I've been working on what I want in this life for me. Maybe I should write that clearer. I have been working on what I want! Work, housing, Animals, and family. What I want in my significant other. I know Sometimes that doesn't happen. I can only dream that a woman would be like this. I'm not perfect, just like any other person. So I have to add this. If I want to be sexually connected as well, which happens to be a struggle for me. Since I am Christian, how I grew up you wait till marriage. But that didn't stop me from my connection with my Ex. You know those videos you watch that talk to you about waiting, that you loose apart of yourself? 100% true for me. Of course we weren't.. Fully 'into each other' for better lack of words. We should have. Hate to say it that way, but I'm honest. For what we did, for the flaunting, using it against me to get what she wanted. It was just an excuse for her to get me in deeper into her control.

I heard that a in break ups, women fall the hardest; even if they are the ones who dumped the other. Within six months, they are back to their normal self and is on to the next guy. Where men, it doesn't hit them,but it stick with them for the rest of their life. They slowly go into a downward spiral and crash. What helps is to hang with your guy friends. To which I don't have, pushed all my friends away. Also talking to your pastor/counselor. Which I guess I should be doing. Might help with everything I've been dealing with. Yet I don't feel like sharing it with my family. 

Well, hope you all enjoy reading this, feel free to comment. Till my next update. 

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